Strictly Adults Only by Sai

Blog post by Sai Lakshmi

As the title says, only kondhais above 18 years of age, read on to enjoy and relate! (Kozhandhai and 18+? Namma aathla eppomey ellarumey apdi dhaane koopadraa?! Namma Thala ezhuthu)

So indha caption paatha udaney, amma konjam work iruku, konja naazhiku disturb pannadha nu door lock panitu cell ah ulla eduthundu vara boy kondhais. Thookam vardhu nu sollitu, blanket ah potundu cell ah nondra girl kondhais… Idhu onnum ANDHA maadhri content illa… Thappu potukonga… Ummachi kanna kuthiduvaar…

Coming to the point, our USP has always been marriages and its galatta… Pre marriage and during marriage! Kalyana ponnu and paiyan aathla nadakardho illayo, avaloda cousins aagiya namma aathla nadakkum. All our cousins/fellow tambrahm friends are somehow fastly progressing and going ahead in life than us! Yen da yen?! (Hope all of you feel the same) Even they would be leading a normal TamBrahm IT employee life like all of us. Suddenly onsite poren nu solluvaan. Anga poi snow photo, first sambar, rasam, kootu, karimadhu nu ella photovum poduvaan. Suddenly our athhai or athimber will call and tell, “Daiii…un anna ku nichhayam aagiduthu da” And your mind voice be like…”Ada narayanaa…Saithan cycle la varudhu…” And our mom’s mind voice be like “Indha kalyanathula vara edhanu US paiyana paathu pesi namma ponnukum kalyanatha mudichidanum perumaley.”

There starts 7.5 Shani for us!

Pre marriage koothu: All the nammathu ponnugal be like romba naal kazhichu oru function varudhey, moonu anarkali, rendu designer sarees and matching antique set lam vaangidlam. I should look my best nu all plans start… (Andha kalyana ponna vida better ah irukanam nu majority nenachupa. Daily walk, strict diet and dhideer aerobics class nu preparations will be on full swing! Cousin ah kootindu poi ava kalyanathuku shopping nadakardho illayo, naama accessories vaangipom.

All the chamathu boys be like, indha function layavadhu en amma ku oru nalla maatuponnu amayanum da rama. Jaadhagam ellam match aagi, life la settle aaganum. Thoppaiyellam theriyadha maadhri nalla smart ah dress pannikanum. There starts their gym regime too!

Sangeeth koothu: This has become a fashion in all our weddings these days! Though we did not have such vazhakkams in our culture, this is now mandatory in all kalyanams… Cousins whatsapp group nu onnu apo dhaan form/active aagum. Bollywood lerndhu Hollywood varai ella songs um discuss panni, choreo panni, jodi number 1 range ku build up panvom 😀 Practice practice nu oru meeting ah pota adhuku yevanum vara maatan. Kadasila, “Nam rajathandhirangal anaithum veenagi vittadhey??!!” moment!

Marriage koothu: And now as we are geared up to see our bro/sis happily married off, we lesser know that there are many embarassing moments awaiting us.

Moment 1: As soon as we land up in the mandapam, a random madisaar maami comes and pinches your cheek. Ayo epdi valandhuta. Ithanoondu irukarchey paathadhu. Nanna irukey di kondhey. Maamiya nyabagam irukonno?? And I look at my mom like “Yaaru ma idhu, what should I tell her now?” And your mom gives you that principal madam look, theriyum nu sollu, epdi irukel nu kelu! 😦 😛 This repeats for Maami 2, uncle 1, Paati1 and chithy oda naathanar oda paiyan who was once your neighbour when you were in 2’nd standard!

Moment 2: Expecting some fair and handsome boys or stunningly pretty girls, we go around the mandapam as if we are searching for something very serious. But all we end up is discovering more and more kannatha killing maamis, enna vela paakura nu kekra uncles and veshamakaara arundhavaal pondu podusugal… AYO RAMA pocha feel!

Moment 3: Dunno why on earth do we look like perfect baby sitters to all eyes! All our youthful annas and mannis, drop by and surrender their kids to us and escape in a second to have fun. And those kids will be the naughtiest creatures you can ever find on planet earth! There starts running behind them, feeding them and asking sorry for all the things they pull down and break in the mandapam. Apo nu paathu dhaan nalla nalla figures ah varum!! SIGH! 😦

Moment 4: This is the most embarassing of all where we meet a still slim fit aunty or uncle, who starts giving us health tips. Ennada romba weight potutey? Indha IT job eh ipdi dhaan! Health ah paathuko! Daily morning walking po. Naanum maamiyum daily park ku poiduvom. We do yoga also nu aarambicha na oru one hour pogum advisory council of India 😦

Moment 5: This is an irritating moment where you happen to meet the perfectly settled 6 digit salary cousin whom your mom adores like HELL! He starts and goes on like “You still work in that company? Why man? Job market is down, share market is high, technology is at peak nu color color ah reel viduvaan and your mom will be like ketuko….evalo porupa solraan paaru…neeyum irukiye nu! And you be like, inimey function ku varuvey? :@ 😦

Moment 6: After all this tortures, you hear a voice. Tiffin ready saapda vaango! We feel like Karna motcham and rush towards the hall to only know that there is only one seat and which is in between your mom and the GOSSIP queen aunty of your family. That Sethhen da feel! While eating, they would be like, saapadu first class… visiting card kudungolen… un kalyanathukum ivaalaye vechudlam di kondhey… Adapaavigala!! 😦

And then starts the Q/A session, nokku endha maadhri maapla/ponnu venum da kozhandhey…what are your expectations? Frank ah sollu…naan amma kitta solla maaten and your mom behind you gives you that “Edhavadhu olari vekkadha” look! And we feel like should I eat or answer your qns now!! Enna koduma rama idhu! 😦

Moment 7.5: This is the final and most dangerous moment ever… If you are a 23+, all relatives come and advise “Yen da kalyanam vendam nu sholrey? Amma appa paavam illaya…avaloda situation ah purinjukanum di kondhey…adam pidikaama othuko…next time unna aathu kaarar oda dhaan paakanum…Seriya?”

Next attack is when they say enaku therinja oru nalla paiyan/ponnu irukaale…perfect match ah irukkum…jaadhagam kudungo. Pesi mudichirlam! And we be like, “Ennada enna yelam podrele ipdi!!!”

The even more dangerous attack is when some maami or maama comes and asks unga ponnu/paiyana? Nanna irukaan…Enna panra? Jaadhagam kudungo…Engaathuku correct ah irupa nu thonardhu… And thats the time when you pray to all gods in the world, vera gothram ah irukanum da aandava….match aaga kudadhu….! And tadaaa, they say the same gothram and your dad says sorry maami orey gothrama poiduthey…vera edhadhu varan irundha sollungo!! 😉 Your mind voice will be “Kadavul irukaar da…nalaikey kovilukku vandhu thenga odaikiren perumaley” 😀 😀 😛

This is how 7.5 naatu sani vaati vadhachufies us in the name of Marriage… 😦

Though all these above said moments test our patience and shoot up our BP, our Tambrahm weddings are meant to be this…so full of life, galatta and fun max 😀 So pudichapo pudichavaala kalyanam pannindu ellarum jolly ah irungo…Best wishes ambis and kondhais 😀 🙂 Cheers 🙂

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6 thoughts on “Strictly Adults Only by Sai

  1. This is absolutely true. I also want someone to post on how Tambrahm families have major issues with young couple expresing romantic gestures for their spouses in public. That sort of has been an unseen dea for a very long time.

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