The Iyernomic Laws by Ram

Blog post by Ramarathnam Radhakrishnan

I still remember 11 standard oda chemistry teacher drilling Graham’s law of effusion profusely into my head (which I still don’t understand). But, in parallel, there was a world of our Amma and cousin akkas that was more bothered about cosmology (we are scientific you see) that they defined certain awesome rules that I can never forget.

Law 1: The Grahanam’s Law

“Food should be freshly prepared after grahanam is over.”

How I have been affected by this rule. More than NASA scientists or even the biggest astronomy enthusiasts, I would know about the duration only because food matters so much more to me.

Ironically, even after coming to U.S., my Akka calls me from Seattle to ask me, “Dei, grahanam aachu. Kulichacha? Samakeliye?” My only reaction, “Mudiyala (read in vadivelu voice)”.

Law 2: The Abhivadaye Axiom

“Namaskaram pannitu marakkama abhivadaye sollu”

Any time I do a namaskaram, Amma is around the corner and one corner of the eye would motion without words – “Abhivadaye sollu da”. Even director Bharathiraja could not have captured such dialogue-less scenes and get them conveyed so clearly.

And the best part, my name and my thatha’s name is the same. So the minute abhivadaye is done, “…Ramarathnam sharma naama aham asmibho” and instantly the Mama or whoever I did the namaskaram would inevitably tell the exact words, “Thatha pera? Super! Avara madhiriye varuve”.

Yet another facepalm moment when you just know that your identity got stolen.

Law 3: The Sandhyavandhanam Statute

“XYZ mama paiyyan innum sandhi panran. Unakkum poonal pottu itthana varusham aachu. Nee panriya?”

The biggest closed-door criticism of every ambi is this. Unfortunately, for us, on that particular day that other payyan would have been doing sandhyavandhanam and we are caught in the cross-fire. Worse would be the guy coming out with his pattai and we are discussing with his parents about our MS/MBA plans. That is the only moment when time freezes and education discussion is trumped by Gayathri japam. Unfortunately, the conclusion to this would be dramatic. The other guy’s parents would also reveal the truth that he does it rarely and we happened to chance upon it.

Still, amma’s pressure to do sandhyavandhanam is a daily phenomenon and justified.

Feel free to add more laws.

PS: I still do Sandhyavandhanam in the mornings.

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