Poem by Venkatraman Subramaniam
If one wants to know any gossip, she would be the first person to ask.
Pidicchu pidicchu vambu kekkardu was Mangalam Mami’s only task.
“Anda ponnukku inda paiyyanoda something something” appidi code language la pesuvaa
“Iyer-aa, Iyengar-aa?” “Vadamal-aa, Vaathimaal-a?” ella details-um fingertips la vecchiruppa
Every Amma taught her child to stay miles away from Mangalam Mami
Coz she would slyly ask about everyone at home – including naai kutty Tommy!
Mangalam Mami was like Naaradar! Along with kalagam, she has also done some good
Mukaavaasi people-kku kalyanam panni vecchirukka… in the entire neighbourhood
After finishing Kumudam, Kalki & Mangaiyar Malar, she has nothing to do, you see
So she goes for vambu on the pretext of returning magazines (as all of them were O.C.)
It was universally known in the agraharam that Mangalam Mami was an Ottaivaai,
But paavam, her daughter-kku kalyanaam-ey aagalai – coz of Dosham, that too, Chevvai!
Ponnu was of the marriageable age,
the clock was rapidly going tick tock tick
But who will marry this poor girl…
… mainly coz she is a Manglik!
Mars, it seems had nothing better to do, it was playing Ludo with the girl’s horoscope
To bring the graham HOME was Mami’s goal… and parihaaram was the only scope
Now, Mangalam Mami aathu Mama was interested only in office velai, kaapi & palagaaram
So Mami would alone do the rounds of different josiyars and note down all the parihaaram
Mami’s daughter Kusalaambal alias Kusi saw the list and was super-stumped!
Mangalam Mami believed the parihaarams would work, and she was super-pumped!
Mangalam Mami accepted the fact that she had a Chevvai praani in her own house.
It WAS going to be difficult to find a right guy who will become her daughter’s spouse.
She did all types of Parihaaram to ward off the Mars effect
Poor Kusi blamed her time of birth for this astrological defect
Even though it was only Chevvai which was troubling her,
Not just Tuesday, her entire week was fixed!
She had to go to a zillion kovils a day
Worrying, “the parihaarams shouldn’t get mixed!”
Off to the Shiva temple every Monday, she would simply run
And to nearby temple on Tuesday to offer pazham to picchaikaaran
Venduthal to Sriviliputtur Andal to come on Aadi Pooram
Also to Vaitheeswaran Koil & Lakshmi Narasimha at Narasimhapuram
She learnt Kanda Shasti Kavacham by heart, and could now give competition to Soolamangalam
They visited every other temple in Tamil Nadu, and everywhere did Bhagawan Thirukalyanam
Watering the Tulsi plant every day without fail was a duty she had to follow
Hell, they even got Kusi’s Kumbh Vivah done – imagine, marrying a pot hollow
She listened to Gemologist Jambunathan & wore a gem stone
The stone & gold were so expensive, Mami had to take a loan
The world came full circle, now Mami was vambu of the town
Still unable to get Kusi married off, Mami’s moonji was down
If a ticket to Mars via Mangalyaan was available, frustrated Mami would have bought
“Naakka pudungara maadiri naalu kelvi kettutu varanam anda Chevvai-yai!”, she thought.
But Mami got a ray of hope, when Josier Mama did agree
That all parihaarams have been done, Kusi’s horoscope’s now dosham-free
Hearing this ‘nalla news’, the stressed Mangalam Mami finally became calm
If you know a suitor for a ‘shuddha jaadagam’ ponnu, mail to firstname.lastname@example.org