Preachy Vaathiyar by Bhargavi

Blog post by Bhargavi Barathi

Muhurtham, horai and the nalla neram concept is a huge deal for us Brahmins. More so if it’s the exact lagnam when the thirumangalya dhaaranam and kanya dhaanam of your kondey is to take place.

This is the story of how a paunchy, middle aged, garrulous preachy vaathiyar mama threatened to sabotage sticking to that lagnam during one of my cousin’s wedding.

It was a brilliant morning and one of the few times when I had woken up so early to get ready for an early muhurtham. Let’s fast forward to reaching the mandabam fully decked up in kalyanathuku appropriate attire and meeting various athais, athimbers, mamas, mamis and of course, their children.

I hadn’t seen most of them in a long time and of course the usual, “karuthu poitiye”, “mellis aayinde poindrikiye” ritual happened along with the “evlo naal achu paathu” and standard combination of “naan yaaru nu theriyardha kondey?”, “Enna nyabagam iruka noku?”

My Amma along with her cousins, being athais and maamis of the bride took their place behind the bride on the stage. My older cousin and I got dragged along too. The view of the mangalya dhaaranam from there being up close, was pretty exciting, I have to admit.

Cutting to the chase, the bride is now seated on her Appa and the thengai is placed on her head and the groom is following the vaathiyar’s instructions to the T. The groom’s parents are sitting on the stage, facing the vaathiyar and the bride’s Amma is right behind her. The only things left to do are the much awaited kanya dhaanam and mangalya dhaaranam.

Now is the time when the vaathiyar decides to have some fun and steal the spotlight. He starts talking! (WHY?!)

He starts off with how he was the vaathiyar for the groom’s parent’s wedding too about 27 years ago. Then he tells everybody in the mandabam how we all should be very proud that, “indha kondel rendu perum samatha appa amma paatha ponnu paiyana kalyanam pannika pora” unlike the trend in this day and age.

Really? I mean you really had to say that? And now? I fully agree that we have to respect vaideegas but, this man should have understood that there’s a place and time for everything. He thought he was making sense, but that was only an unnecessary, cheap, low blow and to whom? For what?

This only reminds me of what a particular maami once said about a different cousin of mine when she found out that he was all set to marry his long-time girlfriend (who wasn’t a nammalava). “Avana? But avan romba nalla paiyan aache?” So, what the maami is saying is he isn’t a nalla paiyan anymore or what? What about the fact that he’s honouring his commitment, maami? Clearly, that means nothing to the maami. I don’t want to get into analysing the thought processes of these people because I know that’s a whole different debate altogether.

Anyway, the vaathiyar rambles on a little more and by now, I can see even my Appa, who has studied astrology is visibly furious for fear of missing the lagnam.

The bride’s Amma, wanting to stop his rambling, very smartly, wrongly signals the getti melam to start. (Almost like how you start clapping in a boring lecture! Genius!)

The climax? It is what you expected. No twists there, thank God. He was forced to stop, much to his displeasure and carried on with what he was primarily there for.

What about the lagnam, you ask? WE MADE IT just in time! 😀


5 thoughts on “Preachy Vaathiyar by Bhargavi

  1. One should not convey one’s low level of observation by castigating that ‘Vadhiyars’ are idiots, by pointing out with one accusing finger at them and should know that the other four fingers are pointing out at the accuser.


  2. There is nothing extra-ordinary in the narration or nothing new to convey (“Preachy vadhyar”) as these are all routine matters with slight variations regarding procedure etc., and the conversation of mamas and mamis in all the Brahminical marriages are the same as all the ‘invitees’ happen to meet after a considerable lapse of time. Why can’t we just forebear the dry comments of the Vadhyar who just wanted attention and cannot resist to air his views among the captive audience?. The author should resist the undercurrent of prejudicial views and view in a broader perspective since marriages are all joyous occasions where bonhomie and camaraderie should be evident. If one were to ask me as to what was the best and humorous narration in this respect,i would un-hesitatingly refer Savi’s “Washington il Thirumanam”–Anyway it is not my intention to be critical, these are my passing thoughts just to let know how different people react differently to a written piece.


  3. This is something to be ashamed of by associating it to TB’s pun intended.
    Did Dushyantha enter Shakuntala by checking, just claimed his thighs were
    shaking and he could feel hers resonating.
    TBs may not read Sanskrit plays any more.
    I met a non-Indian almost 60 years ago, decide she, a Finn was the woman
    I want. We married 2 years later on a Saturday, by a local judge, reading an
    oath of love in Philadelphia. We have grown up kids, both surgeons and
    are retired in FL.
    Follow Ramanuja, a great social reformer, Vadhiyars are IDIOTS!



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