Blog post by Anand Kumar
For any Tambrahm worth his or her uppu, the phrase “Ela Pottachu” must immediately ring a bell or rather Getti melam!!! For, in any function one attends these days from Kalyanam to Poonal to Shastiaptapurthi to Sadhabhishegam or even Sasthapreethi the otherwise sober mamas and mamis, take a different avatar moment the phrase “Ela Pottachu” spreads in the hall! Enthusiastic mamas and mamis who are in the midst of “avaloda Jathakam eduthacha?” and “New Jerseyla ore thanuppu theriyumo??? conversations quietly wriggle to “Vantha 1st velaya paarupom” (Read as Handing over the cover/gift to the concerned). Once that is done, it’s time for Vantha 2nd velai – read as Saapaadu. The action shifts from the main hall to the dining hall!
There was a time in TamBrahm functions, literally you will have to beg people to eat in the 1st pandhi. Most of them – youth and old alike would settle for Velambing for the 1st few pandhis and then only would eat in the last. “Nadaswaram, melam ellam vechu koopittaathaan chaapida varuvela??” “Illa Bombay Sistersoda Bojanam Seiyya vaarungo paattu podatuma??? These used to be the type of lighter vein banter to get people to come and eat. Not anymore. With caterers taking over the serving, once the Muhurtham is over, many people settle to “Vantha mukkiyamaana velaya mudichudarom”!!! At heart there are 2 insecurities. First, if the count goes haywire the nice viscous sambhar may become close to flowing rasam by the 4/5th pandhi. Second, the initial enthusiasm of those serving gradually may wane and they start ozhapping. Having counted the days eagerly for a nice saddhi saapaadu, both could be extremely disappointing! So the game plan is to keep guilt pangs like 1st pandhileye saapidarome aside and try to hit the elai as early as possible. You will agree with me that it’s easier said than done – if you look at some of the following real life experiences at the dining hall these days:
• As you settle down to start eating and just as you move from paruppu/nei to sambhar, you will start feeling a whiff of warm air in your neck and shoulders. As you turn around to check, you will realise that a line is forming for the next pandhi right behind you even as you just started! “Breathing down one’s neck” can be literally felt here!
• As you dig in to relish the items one by one, you can hear whispers from behind like, “intha manushan enna ippadi izhu izhu izhukaraare! Sadhiye chapattathillai polarikku!!”
• Even as YOU try to get the attention of those you serve, you will get ample help from behind – “Saarukku inga thayir!!!” – Pochu, your desire of going for one more round of ada pradaman payasam goes in vain as the person behind you has already made you move on to thayir!!!
• The other day, while a person was eating he got a call. Just as he was making an attempt to retrieve his mobile which was tucked somewhere between his pot belly and veshti, he got a sermon from a waiting mami. “Mama, phone ellam apparum pesikkalaam. Seekiram mudingo!!!”
• “Gappa adichathu porum, naanga romba nerama waiting inga” – One mami was heard telling 2 ambis who were discussing pros and cons of Modi’s Demonetisation!
• In another case, paavam one young lady was sitting and having food with her 5 year old daughter and trying to make her eat. That’s all. Barbs started. “Kuzhanthaikku thaniyaa saapaadu eduthundu poi kuduka padaatho??? Inga ippadi paduthindu irukaale???”
• “Mamaakku sugar! Irunthaalum ippadi 2 payasathayum maathi maathi vaangi kudichindu irukaar!!” Another barb at a mama who was enjoying his payasam with a vengeance (his wife was not around) without realizing that he is now sitting like a Nandi before the next Pandhi!!
• Just as you attempt to move your now swollen tummy and get up, the person in the line behind has already occupied the chair like “Minnal”!!!
• For the in between rows which don’t have sufficient space for people to line up behind – people use innovative ploys to reserve their seats. Like:
o In some temples in Tamil Nadu just as you alight from your vehicle, you will see ladies who sell offerings reserving their customers from at a distance by saying, “antha sevappu sari ennuthu, Antha periya pottu mami ennuthu,… Like that, in pandhis also you can hear– from at a distance – “antha yellow kurta en seat, that ponchampalli mami’s seat is mine,..!!!”
o The time tested technique of throwing kerchief from a distance to reserve the seat as soon as a person gets up!!!
o Before itself, befriending the boys who serve and asking them to reserve the seat when you come!!!
o If those who are sitting and eating are your friend/relatives asking them not to let anybody else sit other than you!!
o So on and so forth!!!
So one can see, it is becoming a brahmaprayathanam to eat properly in a function now without getting embarrassed or being shameless!!!
So here are some suggestions (some serious, some satirical) to get over this:
• Have both options of buffet and Ela potta saapaadu. So people can choose and decide.
• If only Ela potta pandhi – have 2 separate rows for Senior citizens.
• Like they have row wise boarding in airlines, have alphabetical order wise calling. (That my name starts with A has nothing to do with this suggestion!!!)
• Have eating sequence as per arriving sequence in the hall. So earlier you come, earlier you can eat! As you enter, you will be issued a dining pass with a sequence number. Accordingly to the sequence you will be admitted in the respective pandhis. (When you keep track of the attendees you can also ensure adequate quantity of food and you can avoid extending the sambhar after the 3rd pandhi!!!
• Introduce a “Saapaadu sequencing app” wherein you will get a notification when your seat is ready in the pandhi. You can just go exactly at that time!!!
• Of course you can also tie a tag with a RFID chip to all guests as you enter which will record the time as you enter and give a beep when your seat is ready in the dining hall!!!
Hopefully by adopting some ideas like this, one can enjoy the function fully without training your ears all the time to hear the important phrase – “Ela pottachu!!!”
Check out our merchandise store here – https://www.posterguy.in/collections/we-are-tambrahm
Very funny, entertaining.
LikeLike
But why use Tamil words when writing in English. I have seen elderly gentlemen and children these days speak in the same fashion and most of all I find our people conversing in Mumbai Hindi which is not only atrocious but also abominable.
LikeLike
This is a nice blog but please visit and read the new ultimate theory of human relativity exclusively on My Theory also give me some feedbacks as I am hungry for it.
From your latest follower My Theory.
LikeLike
Nandhi before the pandhi! Ha ha!!
Also liked alphabetical order! I come before u 😄
LikeLiked by 1 person
Adi, 😁😁
LikeLike
So real, funny and hilarious, that one can digest even the overeaten food!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha, Thank you!
LikeLike
Really enjoyed it Anand. Also did not realise that the concepts have changed so much at marriages now a days. Some valid suggestions as well. Named seats will be decent. And of course you will be first, because you suggested it 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Suri! The suggestions were obviously konjam over!!!
LikeLike
Good one on the reality of sadhdhiyakkum.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂 :). Thanks APS!
LikeLike
Superb enjoyed it especially the kerchief one still works now!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes! Thanks for the feedback!
LikeLike
Brahmana Bhojana Priya enbathu nijam! Your review is realistic and enjoyable! -Singapore Sarma
LikeLike
Thanks, Sarmaji!
LikeLike
Well written. Sarmaji’s comment has to be read like this. Brahmanah Bho Janapriyah .They are Brahmins who are affectionate to all people. Bho is an exclamation.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊😊😊👍🏼 Thanks for chipping in!
LikeLike
True sequence of behavioral attitudes, however, one should also reckon the factors contributing to this change. Marriage invitations, receptions are all vastly changed, no personal touch seen or felt anywhere. You attend the function like you watch a movie, no one-to-one, join the lunch or dinner – otherwise it will go waste – and, most important, push an envelope containing currency/cheque into the hands of the bride or ‘groom, depending on who invited you. Much like one pays restaurant bills. Because caterers are totally in charge of the food chain – and none from the host-side cares to inter-act with the guests, guests have their food, wash-up and leave, sometimes with Thamboolam, handed by little girls. No one notices who responded to the invitation. In this situation we need to realise that what is happening is a reaction to a topsy-turvy change taken place in celebrating marriages.
LikeLike
Very true! We live in a fast paced changing world!
Thanks for reading and writing in!
LikeLike
Really superb! Anything concerning TamBrahms is good to read ,hear and know.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! Glad you liked it 🙂 🙂
LikeLike
Really superb! Anything concerning TamBrahms is good to read ,hear and know.
LikeLike
Excellent satire
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much Janaki!
LikeLike
Very well written and hilarious account notwithstanding,hopefully will also prove to be an effective mirror to society .
LikeLike
You hit the nail! Thanks much for the fedback!
LikeLike
Hilarious! Well written. Especially i liked the punch “(That my name starts with A has nothing to do with this suggestion!!!)”!
Congratulations!
LikeLiked by 1 person
He He! Thanks for the feedback
LikeLike
Very funny and very well written.
LikeLike
Thank you!
LikeLike
IT IS GOOD BUT SUGGESTIONS ARE not workable. There will be people who have come for the function who have to rush to office / work . So they will be the ones in the first Pandhi .
LikeLike
The suggestions as i mentioned were a bit over the top and not meant to be serious!
LikeLike
Romba nalla ezhdhiyirukinga….padichu rachichen,,,,,santhosha patten, nanri…
LikeLike
Thanks for the feedback!
LikeLike